Where have all the Good Men Gone? Janette Miller

Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

An Auckland woman is bemoaning the dearth of intelligent, creative and eloquent men in what she describes as the "era of the lone older women".

Kerry Carter, 72, has written to the Weekend Herald to express her frustration and incredulity at the lack of men in her social circles.

"I really wrote it to express my strong feelings about it, because it doesn't matter what I go to, it's always women, women, women."   Corazon Miller  NZ Herald

I am about the same age as Kerry Carter and I have great sympathy for her plight. In my experience when many women lose their husbands and some of us do at a fairly young age we are in for a long time on our own. Men like younger women and have no difficulty in marrying again and their young wives do not encourage other relationships unless forced to do so or they don't know, so we are in for a longtime on our own. My own husband was older than I and he told me this before I married that I could be in for a long time by myself but I loved him and yes he did jump ship by dying rather too soon but I knew this might happen so can hardly complain. Unlike Kerry Carter I have not had any problems. I have had many male friendships over these 14 years and there are plenty of interesting men around, far more than women so what is the difference between us?


I think it is upbringing. 

When I was a child I was the only girl in the neighbourhood so I was brought up with boys. I did 'boy' things, stamp collecting, mechano, radios, soapbox derbys, train spotting, collecting odd things like tadpoles, mice, cigarette cards. I joined in battles, tennis, cricket and rugby. I wasn't very fond of the last two but I knew about them and as a teenager I was involved in ballet and opera, yes lots of men in this area too. This does make life easier as I am used to meeting men not as potential lovers but as people.

I sort of tagged onto their education too as I didn't have a formal one. They taught me science and what to read and I taught them to appreciate ballet. They liked ballet already, educated men like ballet dancers as we are intelligent, pretty and have deferred gratification. Today I possibly have more males friends than female because I have a lot in common and I am used to talking to them on their level. I am not so good at talking to women of my age as I find a lot are rather silly. They just do not do science and find scientific reasoning impossible. It is hard to know where they come from and I expect men find the same.

If a woman wants to meet men really nice men then she has to like what they like and go somewhere where she is likely to meet them on their ground. Try the local philately club, out of the 100 members in my club at least 90% were male. My husband at first was not a philatilist although he became one he never came to the club so I did meet a lot of very intelligent very nice men who liked stamps while he was alive. They liked a woman who could appreciate and talk about Full Face Queens. Croquet clubs are quite good too. Admiring a four ball break is always acceptable and one has to sit out for hours with a partner. Joining an Association Croquet Club is a last resort because on the field the players change into demons but in the clubhouse they are charming.

I met Peter Goodwin at a bookbinding club. He also loved stamps and these men helped me through when Miles died as I was ill. My men friends are chums not potential partners and sometimes I am not invited into to their club but that is OK. Occasionally I am and then I become an honary man for the morning. I am useful, great computer skills and decorative on occasions like that special dinner when an unmarried man needs a partner.  On one occasion I was a bought woman. I refused to go unless I was given his spare rounding hammer which are impossible to buy these days. I mean I knew what a rounding hammer was and its value in the scheme of things.

Most women of my age were not brought up like this. They would not have clue what a rounding hammer was.They were taught their place, mostly a love of Belief Systems, to look after things, and certainly no science. Not a lot in common with the average intelligent male. However a woman who appreciates the beauty and value of a set of Full Face Queens is attractive at any age. Some of my lady friends have not been out with a man alone even for a coffee since their husbands died and yes that must be sad.

Hopefully today as most children are raised equally the loneliness of single women will go away or will it? Many highly educated young women are still alone reaching their 30s and 40s without a partner because they cannot find one of their equal. Men in my day never had this problem because on the whole women did not get the education they did so they were always superior. The had to make to with wives of inferior education but they got looked after. Maybe today's highly educated women should do the same and shack up with a nice, handsome but a bit thick male because what most highly intelligent women need is a Wife to look after them as wives do!

Brexit - List of UK Companies no longer in UK Thanks to EU Asset Stripping

List of  UK Companies that have been transferred to other countries using EU grants.  Anyone who thinks the EU is good for British industry or any other business simply hasn't paid attention to what has been systematically asset-stripped from the UK.

I would like to repost the following by Richard Matthews (I'm shocked). 

"OK.. here's a short list of financial and industrial FUBARs from the EU...

Cadbury moved factory to Poland 2011 with EU grant.
Ford Transit moved to Turkey 2013 with EU grant.
Jaguar Land Rover has recently agreed to build a new plant in Slovakia with EU grant, owned by Tata, the same company who have trashed our steel works and emptied the workers pension funds.
Peugeot closed its Ryton (was Rootes Group) plant and moved production to Slovakia with EU grant.
British Army's new Ajax fighting vehicles to be built in SPAIN using SWEDISH steel at the request of the EU to support jobs in Spain with EU grant, rather than Wales.
Dyson gone to Malaysia, with an EU loan.
Crown Closures, Bournemouth (Was METAL BOX), gone to Poland with EU grant, once employed 1,200.
M&S manufacturing gone to far east with EU loan.
Hornby models gone. In fact all toys and models now gone from UK along with the patents all with with EU grants.
Gillette gone to eastern Europe with EU grant.
Texas Instruments Greenock gone to Germany with EU grant.
Indesit at Bodelwyddan Wales gone with EU grant.
Sekisui Alveo said production at its Merthyr Tydfil Industrial Park foam plant will relocate production to Roermond in the Netherlands, with EU funding.
Hoover Merthyr factory moved out of UK to Czech Republic and the Far East by Italian company Candy with EU backing.
ICI integration into Holland’s AkzoNobel with EU bank loan and within days of the merger, several factories in the UK, were closed, eliminating 3,500 jobs.
Boots sold to Italians Stefano Pessina who have based their HQ in Switzerland to avoid tax to the tune of £80 million a year, using an EU loan for the purchase.
JDS Uniphase run by two Dutch men, brought up companies in the UK with £20 million in EU 'regeneration' grants, created a pollution nightmare and just closed it all down leaving 1,200 out of work and an environmental clean-up paid for by the UK tax-payer. They also raided the pension fund and drained it dry.

UK airports are owned by a Spanish company.
Scottish Power is owned by a Spanish company.
Most London buses are run by Spanish and German companies.
The Hinkley Point C nuclear power station to be built by French company EDF, part owned by the French government, using cheap Chinese steel that has catastrophically failed in other nuclear installations. Now EDF say the costs will be double or more and it will be very late even if it does come online.

Swindon was once our producer of rail locomotives and rolling stock. Not any more, it's Bombardier in Derby and due to their losses in the aviation market, that could see the end of the British railways manufacturing altogether even though Bombardier had EU grants to keep Derby going which they diverted to their loss-making aviation side in Canada.
39% of British invention patents have been passed to foreign companies, many of them in the EU.
The Mini cars that Cameron stood in front of as an example of British engineering, are built by BMW mostly in Holland and Austria. His campaign bus was made in Germany even though we have Plaxton, Optare, Bluebird, Dennis etc., in the UK. The bicycle for the Greens was made in the far east, not by Raleigh UK but then they are probably going to move to the Netherlands too as they have said recently.

 Name one major technology company still running in the UK, I used to contract out to many, then the work just dried up as they were sold off to companies from France, Germany, Holland, Belgium, etc., and now we don't even teach electronic technology for technicians any more, due to EU regulations.

I haven't detailed our non-existent fishing industry the EU paid to destroy, nor the farmers being paid NOT to produce food they could sell for more than they get paid to do nothing, don't even go there.
I haven't mentioned what it costs us to be asset-stripped like this, nor have I mentioned immigration, nor the risk to our security if control of our armed forces is passed to Brussels or Germany.
Find something that's gone the other way, I've looked and I just can't. If you think the EU is a good idea.
1/ You haven't read the party manifesto of The European Peoples' Party.
2/ You haven't had to deal with EU petty bureaucracy tearing your business down.
3/ You don't care.

Brexit means the dissembling stops and Westminster is held to account for the good and the bad on every decision. As it should be. No wonder the Camerons and Blairs are terrified at the prospect..."

The UK Guardian Brexit the Movie Free Speech correspondence

The UK Guardian and Freedom to Comment 

For many years I have been a devoted reader of the UK Guardian. It was a liberal newspaper and I enjoyed its articles which were educated, intelligent and well balanced but just lately  I have noticed an extreme change and it relates to the UK  Guardian and the EU Referendum. On this topic the Guardian editors have decided that the EU is a good thing and only articles in favour will be allowed and it seems anyone pointing out that there is another point of view must be silenced.

Actually I can hardly believe it. I have enjoyed commenting on the Guardian for many years. Yes, I can put forward an unpopular point of view but I try to do so in a respectful way and in fact anyone reading my comments would be hard pushed to find any that would be classed in this manner but it seems something I wrote had annoyed the Guardian Moderators on this occasion and it seems that my offence may have been pointing out that the Guardian does not like anyone who disagrees with its EU policy!

This is really censorship of the worst kind and is unworthy of this great newspaper. A free press is essential to a democracy and also the freedom to comment. I think the problem may lie that when I was at last able to comment, I pointed this out and suggested that readers watch Brexit the Movie  as an antidote to all the pro articles the Guardian had published.

I now see the following warning shown above every time I try to comment and my comments are not published.

How can one trust a newspaper that behaves like this. Obviously one cannot, Well not on this topic it appears. This is the comment which appears to have caused the problem:

BREXIT THE MOVIE _ YOUTUBEThis explains the EU rather well too! At last one is able to make a comment on this subject.
Having watched this well made film it is easy to see why the fat cats of the Establishment just love the undemocratic EU. Everlasting well paid jobs for the elite and no voters to worry about.
UK would be crazy to remain in. Why not discuss it Guardian?

Can you see anything disrespectful in that? Well the film does put the case for leaving the EU rather well, possibly a bit too well for the Guardian at the moment. I was of two minds about the exit but after watching this I now know Brexit is possibly the only way for UK to maintain its own identity.

So sadly I must leave the Guardian as I can no longer trust it but such is life. 

UPDATE 13 JUNE 2016 ANSWER FROM UK GUARDIAN

As you can see I wrote to ask why I had been moderated and after a bit of a wait where my comments were simply "What can I say?" I received this reply  which is worth documenting and here too is my answer.

Hello Janette, 

Looking at your user history, I can see that your comments linking to the Brexit: The Movie video were blocked by a moderator because they didn't engage with the articles under which they appeared. As a result, they were considered off-topic under the terms of our community standards:
8. Keep it relevant. We know that some conversations can be wide-ranging, but if you post something which is unrelated to the original topic ("off-topic") then it may be removed, in order to keep the thread on track. This also applies to queries or comments about moderation, which should not be posted as comments.
In addition, we've also been dealing with an organised campaign to flood EU discussions with links to this video, which also violates the community standards:
7. We will remove any posts that are obviously commercial or otherwise spam-like. Our aim is that this site should provide a space for people to interact with our content and each other, and we actively discourage commercial entities passing themselves off as individuals, in order to post advertising material or links. This may also apply to people or organisations who frequently post propaganda or external links without adding substantively to the quality of the discussion on the Guardian website.
From your account history I can see that you have a long record of constructive contributions to discussions at The Guardian, and that you aren't posting from one of the new accounts created simply to propagate this link. Accordingly, I'd be happy to remove the premoderation sanction from your account provided that you're happy to return to making comments relevant to the articles under which they appear.
Regards
Craig
Community Moderator

MY REPLY

Kiaora Craig

Thank you fro you email regarding my red exclamation mark and thank you for offering to remove it which I should be extremely grateful. It sort of reminds me of my convent school when any form of revolt  was quickly nipped in the bud.

I was born in Windsor but I have lived in NZ since 1974 when the UK dumped NZ in a very cruel way in favour of the EU so perhaps I have a very different view on the current situation. At the time it seemed a disaster for NZ and it was but now NZ has survived and makes its own deals and maintains its own culture. It is different to UK as it is egalitarian which I and my GP husband liked. Virtually no class system.  NZ was good to me and I was voted  Auckland Woman of the Year m1982 by  the women of Auckland for taking on the Council over the Arts! I doubt I would have got any opportunities in UK to do this.

I have been alarmed at the number of pro-remain articles which go unchallenged. They mostly all are at the moment so it is not surprising that the Guardian will get swamped by Brexiters. I did it quite independently. I even went off topic because of the few opportunities to put forward a view that is not catered for by the Guardian. It is a form of censorship that I think is unworthy of this great paper.

It might have been easier to acknowledge this video. Yes, Brexit the Movie is pretty convincing but th Guardian's  pro-job is to show why it is incorrect not shy away from it. I know this is difficult. The bit that hit home with me, who lived through the tail end of the war and the 11 years of rationing, was to find out that in Germany after a short initial period of rationing there was no rationing! However UK did get the NHS and social welfare and this could have been pointed out. It explained why controlled planning can hinder creativity and progress. 

However your response was gratifying. I promise that I will not comment off topic again unless I am forced to do so. I shall say three Hail Marys and make a firm purpose of amendment.

I look forward to being red exclamation mark- less!

Sincerely

One should not have to do this to protect democracy in this day and age in a civilised society but the price of freedom is eternal vigilance.